Vote. It’s our American way. My way is to talk about a friend of over 50 years.
Donald Trump just called me. Exhausted, tired, on a campaign juggernaut, in a recent CV battle, enduring endless did-Russia/didn’t-Russia battles, fighting ogres like Pelousy and Bullschiff, and facing the unaccomplished, but last one standing, slidin’ Biden, who could flunk an IQ, whose arithmetic needs Clorox and who campaigns in a cellar that normally houses roaches, spiders, termites, and rats.
Under crippling stress, exuding more stamina than an Army tank, Donald still had the strength and care to phone and see if a friend’s OK.
Even a non-supporter said: “Only his genius can effect an economic recovery.”
And a supporter said: “Standing up to this shows he’ll stand up to anything, any enemy.”
And slidin’ Biden needs a foodtaster. His running mate intends to be president of the USA.
We talked about fear of vandals being why people may not favor him to pollsters — but out there exists a silent majority favoring him.
“I feel the same way,” said Donald.
It all comes down to this
Voting for president means voting for electors, who cast their ballots for president when each state’s electoral college formally meets Dec. 14. Their certifications then go to each state plus the president and Senate. On Jan. 6, results get confirmed. If a swing state like Pennsylvania’s still counting votes, or if both candidates grab the necessary 270 to win — it comes down to the Dem-controlled Congress or Supreme Court. Remember Bush against Gore?
That time of year
Think this election’s not warm and fuzzy? In 1928, Dem Al Smith blew $7.1 million. Herbert Hoover, $9.4 million on GOP ads that read: “Hoover and Happiness or Smith and Soup Houses.” In 1936, FDR versus Alf Landon. Dirty tricks like a marriage license clerk telling a bridegroom Dems will cost him heavily in a coming national debt. 1964, LBJ to VP Hubert Humphrey: “If you didn’t know you were going to be vice president a month ago, you’re too damn dumb to have the office.”
Let’s try it again
Listen, everything’s coming back. “Flashdance,” 1983 movie starring Jennifer Beals, is rebooting as a TV series. It’ll focus on a black stripper itching to be a ballerina . . . And “The Addams Family” is showing up again. Also a TV series. Set in 2020, Tim Burton directs . . . Can’t resurrect Reagan, so a movie’s planned on his life. Filming in Oklahoma for some reason. It just stopped, which had nothing to do with the fact that they were stuck in Oklahoma. Crew members had CV. Next? Who knows? Maybe a Woodrow Wilson rhumba . . . Biggest grosser in 1977 after “Star Wars” was Burt Reynolds in “Smokey and the Bandit.” Well, the bandit’s gone, but the thing’s alive again. Now it’s Seth MacFarlane and Danny McBride. Also again, and always, it’s for TV.
Some scary stuff
Statistics claim 5 percent fewer babies get born on Halloween. Why? Who knows, I’m lucky I know this. But besides Vanilla Ice, Piper Perabo, Dan Rather, Dermot Mulroney — also from Halloween came Brit poet John Keats, 1795. Must be something magical in the bubble and squeak . . . Another insanely important Halloween fact: Milliner Ivy Supersonic burps that: “Kim Kardashian stole my Pam Anderson hat design.” Listen, I knew you’d want to know this.
One out of work semi socialite’s been barred from even a socially distanced Halloween event. He swears his family came over on the Mayflower. But not the ship — the back of a moving van.
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.